Matthew & Michelle Adams
It fills my heart with immense joy and gratitude to serve as your counselor, guiding you both on this journey of Christ-as-Life discipleship. It is a privilege to witness your spiritual growth and to be a part of your journey towards a deeper understanding of Christ’s teachings & indwelling Life. Your commitment to living out your faith in every aspect of your lives is truly inspiring. I look forward to continuing to walk alongside you, providing guidance and support as you navigate your spiritual paths. May our shared journey bring us closer to the heart of Christ, and may His love and wisdom guide us every step of the way.
Discipleship Data Page
This webpage serves as a comprehensive repository for our discipleship journey. It contains detailed discipleship notes that capture the essence of our discussions and reflections on Christ’s teachings. The assignments posted here are designed to deepen your understanding and application of these teachings in your daily life. Additionally, the counseling notes provide insights into our counseling sessions, offering a record of our progress and areas of focus. This resource is intended to support your spiritual growth and foster a deeper relationship in & with Christ. It is my hope that you find it valuable and enriching in your discipleship journey.
5/21/24
Personal marriage counseling/discipleship was requested. It was decided to pursue the request.
5/31/24
Congratulations. Today, we begin the process of your marriage discipleship. We will start with you, Michelle, filling out our "Wife's View of the Husband." DO NOT SHOW YOUR ANSWERS TO MATT. Matt, you need to fill out the "Husband's Self-Evaluation." Again, DO NOT SHOW YOUR ANSWERS TO MICHELLE. Send the results through your private email address as an attachment after completing – in a Word doc if possible. This means that during our testing period, I must respond to your private emails (michelle@ & matthew@) to ask questions and get clarification.
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We have a policy of having all "homework" assignments completed and back in my inbox within 48 hours. If this policy is not honored, discipleship is suspended, except in unforeseen circumstances. Plus, all emails need a response with a statement such as "I received your email." It is our IOM Board policy. I am required to honor this.
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Once I get the digital copy of the signed full Right To Minister (meaning all pages), I will sign it and return it to you for your files. This is imperative to move to the next step, and it is necessary according to our Board's Bylaws and Articles.
6/10/24
All pre-counseling forms - Husband's Self-Evalutation, Wife's view of Husband's Self-Evaluation, Wife's Self-Evaluation, Husband's view of Wife's Self-Evaluation, Leadership Questionnaire, both Self-Life Questionnaires have been completed. The first session set up for June 27, 2024.
6/27/24
Session was postponed until July 5, 1 pm (CST) due to lateness and sign in difficulties. Items to note:
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During waiting period, listen to "Making Disciples" audio (scroll to the bottom of page) HERE.
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In your workbook, study the "Preface" section.
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Carefully review the "Terms & Definitions" section.
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Fill in the "blanks" within the "Making Disciples" chapter in your workbook.
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Notify me as soon as you have completed the above items - the July 5th meeting will not take place until each item is completed with excellence.
7/1/24
Pre-session homework.: Send assignments HERE.
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Write an overview of the audio you listened to - "Making Disciples."
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Write a summarization paragraph of the Preface section of the workbook.
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Write a statement regarding your definition of procrastination. Make it personal.
7/4/24
The discipleship was placed on "hold" until an evaluation on Wednesday, August 28th. At that time, it will be determined to cancel all sessions, or delay for another month. Between today and the 28th, all the above assignments will need to be completed in addition to the items below: Send assignments, as completed, HERE.
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Spend deliberate time in prayer as to the Lord's will for the two of you to faithfully execute discipleship with IOM.
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If we make a decision to move forward, a renewed agreement will need to be applied. The agreement must include doing the assignments in a timely fashion, returning those assignments within a 48-hour time period, consistent communications, and notifying me of potential schedule conflicts well in advance.
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In addition to the above items, together, listen to the following messages: Godship, Rejection, External/Internal, Problems, My Flesh, and Repentance. After listening to each, before moving on to the next, send separate summaries of what you learned from that message - then move on to the next scheduled audio. Do one per week. This is imperative. It allows time for the Holy Spirit to minister to you for one week with each message.
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At the end of each week, fill in the blanks in your workbook for the message you listened to earlier that week. No cram studies. Keep with the timing I have implemented. Again, after you have filled in the blanks within each chapter, notify me that you did. To reintegrate, listen to the audio, send me your summary and a notification of accomplishing this, wait until the end of the week, fill in the workbook for that topic, and send me another notification of completing the fill-in within your workbook on that lesson.
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Note: this is my method of determining the advisability to continue our discipleship & restart our Zoom sessions. Reply to me individually if you are in agreement to this HERE.
7/9/24
As of this date, I have received the following assignments. Send assignments, as completed, HERE.
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Both listened to the "Making Disciples" audio. Michelle sent an excellent overview of the "Making Disciples" audio, summarization of the "Preface" section, plus her definition of procrastination.
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Michelle & Matthew agreed to the new terms and conditions for future assignments.
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Michelle completed the study of the "Preface," "Terms & Definitions" and filled in blanks of the "Making Disciples" section of the workbook.
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Matt completed the paragraph summarizing the "Preface" section.
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Matt sent a paragraph on procrastination and a statement on his early resistance to discipleship.
7/10-19
Michelle listened to Godship audio. Matt listened to Godship audio on 7/11/24. Sent in a summary of Godship that was opposite of its stated meaning. Waiting for redo.
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7/12/24 Received Michelle's summary to Godship. Without question, this was one of the clearest summaries I have received to date. Matt sent a brief summary on Godship.
7/19/24: Michelle finished the Godship workbook pages. On 7/16 both listened to the "Rejection" message. Matt admits to grief he caused his family. On 7/17, Matt submitted his Godship written summary. Michelle submitted her summary on "Rejection." Her review was detailed, and congruent with the definitions found in the workbook - another excellent review.
7-24-24
We have turned a corner. Michelle completed her Rejection workbook content. Matt completed an excellent summary of Godship. He turned in his list of additives and supplements. Results listed below. Matt also submitted and excellent summary of the Rejection message - off the charts good. Both agreed to relaxing on confronting each other regarding their flesh patterns. As a discipler, I am pleased with where we are at this point of the pre-counseling stage.7/24 Both listened to the External and Internal audio message.
8-1-24
On 7-25-24, Matt responded to the pharmaceutical email I sent him. He is working to remove some of the supplements and/or medications that might be causing negative effects. 7-31-24, Michelle sent in her summary of the External/Internal message. Excellent work. 7-31-24, Matt sent in his summary review of External/Internal. Great summary, well done. 8-2-24, Michelle noted that she completed the workbook fill-ins for External/Internal. As of today, unless I missed it, Matt has not sent a completion notice of his fill in the blanks in his workbook for the External/Internal chapter.
9-6-24
First session was successful. Discussion contained; rebellious perfectionism, spiritual - psychological and physical hording. The one-rule policy was applied. Cleaning dust from environment was encouraged. Biblical principles were covered for God given functional roles as husband and wife. Homework was given to list the individualized Godship lists and to be sent to me as soon as possible. After next session, they will need to complete the "Problems" chapter and workbook studies.
8-22-24
Both Michelle & Matt viewed the "Homework Resentment Video."
Priorities Until Discipleship is Completed
Time With God
Private and marital prayer and Bible reading as a couple. Separate devotions second.
Provisions
Paid work hours related to sustaining and supporting household expenses.
Discipleship
Complete all assignments and encouragements provided by your discipler/counselor.
Ministry
Time spent in your ministry outreach services. Do not "cheat" on this priority.
COUNSELOR NOTES:
7/24/24: Here are the results of the pharmaceutical chemical reaction list:
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• CBD = drowsiness, artificial sedation, gastrointestinal reactions, dry mouth, reduction of appetite, nausea, secondary addictions, interactions with other medications – (opioid pain relievers, antiepileptic drugs, alcohol, and acetaminophen -Tylenol), and liver damage. When CBD is taken with acetaminophen, it forms a likened response similar to THC.
• Overweight (100 to 200 pounds over) = metabolism, hormone imbalances, fatty tumors, diabetes, lethargy, sleeplessness, increased stress, excessively high blood pressure, and frequent depression.
• Losartan = dizziness, fatigue, body aches or pain, chills, decreased interest in sexual intercourse, difficulty having a bowel movement (stool), headache, severe and throbbing, hearing loss, inability to have or keep an erection, irritability, loss of voice, trouble concentrating, trouble sleeping, difficult breathing, fast or irregular heartbeat, stomach pain, sweating, unusual tiredness or weakness, muscle pain or cramps, tightness in the chest, and unusual bleeding or bruising.
• Chlorthalidone = dizziness, stomach issues, dehydration, fluctuation of blood pressure, sodium levels (irregularities), magnesium depletion, tarry stools, gum swelling, bloating, chest pains, cold sweats, confusion, irritability, indigestion, joint pain, sugar in the urine, breathing difficulties, unusual tiredness or weakness, and an overwhelming sense of hopelessness.
• Bupropion = dry mouth, runny nose, ringing in the ears, vision-related issues, agitation, anxiety, tinnitus, headaches, quick change in behaviors, fast heartbeat, suicidal thoughts or attempts, and overwhelming weakness or tiredness.
• Aleve = Heartburn, nausea, stomach pain, constipation, headache, dizziness, drowsiness, itching, mild rashes, tinnitus (ringing in the ear), swelling of the legs or ankles, gastrointestinal (GI) ulcers or bleeding, raised blood pressure, kidney damage, worsening of heart failure, worsening of asthma symptoms, higher risk of heart attacks, and higher risk of strokes.
• Emzu = intestinal cramping, nausea, dizziness, weakness, headaches, itching, mouth sores, and stomach disorders.
• D3 = vomiting, constipation, irritability, tiredness, urination issues, fast heartbeat, hives, tightness in the chest, and unusual tiredness or weakness.
• PstAvan = stomach upset, headaches, and dizziness. PA does not work well with certain medications.
• Berberine = diarrhea, constipation, gas, upset stomach, possible brain damage (mainly in children), poor interactions with blood pressure medications and agents/medications related to sedative medications.
• L-Lysine = abdominal pain, diarrhea, gallstones, kidney disorders, and increased triglycerides.
I am not qualified to make an accurate advanced medical projection of the interactions of these chemicals. However, as someone who once had a basic pharmacology certification, the listed additives can easily create a toxic mixture that will work against each other and potentially cause your primary medical diagnosis of extremely high blood pressure to fluctuate and challenge long-term BP stability. The side effects list differs with each individual. However, if you experience over 50% of these symptoms, please consult your doctor(s) by providing them with the list of additives and seek their counsel on the advisability of mixing the stated medications and supplements. Matt, this is why the medical practitioner asks for a list of medications and supplements before the doctor comes to consult with you.
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Most people have threshold levels of reaction to most medications and supplements. Some have allergic reactions without knowing. The more sensitive the body, the more of the above side effects will be manifested. Most medical professionals will continue administering medications until the patient complains of side effects. Typically, they base their prescriptions on this. So, don’t hesitate to consult with your doctor(s) if you suffer from excessive side effects.
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7/19/24: Matt, I worked in a TBI care unit for many years. Memory deprivation is a major issue for victims. However, since cognitive functioning, mood regulation, energy, alertness, sensory/motor functions, and long-term health issues are prevalent in these cases, we always watch for present cognitive advancement. If the person is active in advanced functioning skills like yourself, the memory suppression is classically purposeful. Meaning: a pre-accident mental pattern of avoidance of psychological pain becomes a mechanism of coping. If the person is high functioning, like yourself, we were trained to address reflective displacement – blaming others for their lack of ability to face childhood trauma. While the TBI can interfere with the recovery from childhood trauma, cases like yours make it extremely difficult to move the individual away from their reflective displacement. In other words, due to the pride that develops to cover their insecurities, facing them with the challenge of stopping the pattern of blaming others becomes next to impossible. However, we don’t serve a psychological God. We serve a God of miracles. Full healing will occur if you remain humble in our discipleship process and do what you are asked.
That brings me to the tough love aspect of our discipleship. When told to accomplish an assignment, do it exactly as instructed. If you don’t, you will remain in the demonic coverup of resisting healing – using the excuse of doing assignments your way because your pride demands it will slow you down in the healing. With that, write me one more summary of Godship using the terminology of the lesson BEFORE you add personal application. The review should contain a minimum of 500 words. If I were a stranger reading your review, it should disclose the entire message of Godship without ever going to the original source. This is important because if you communicate what you learn to an outsider, from what I have received from you, I would be confused. You are in school now. I am your teacher. Do it as instructed, no matter how much this rubs against your anti-teacher authoritative reactions. You will thank me later.
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Michelle. You are a perfect helpmate for Matt. From the assignments I have received from you, I can see why God put you in Matt’s life. He needs you. Ignore his childish pride. He is only covering up his greatest weakness – being taught by others face to face. You are in his space. I assure you that few have been privileged to be in his interpersonal world. You are one, and I am determined to be the second. His healing depends on the fruit of the Holy Spirit within you. I was hoping you could assist in redeeming Matt from his protective fleshly pattern of reflective displacement.
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7/14/2024: Through email communications, I have discovered typical prediscipleship ideations - wanting to fix the fix before God has time to fix years of built-up flesh patterns. Keep in mind that it took years of fleshly decisions and ramifications to put you in the place you are. Plan on 6-12 months before you see overt changes. Do your homework as assigned and leave the rest to me.
Matt, while there may be fleshly outburst during this phase, trust your wife. Right now, all that I have read regarding your feedback, she is correct. You seem to be "stuck" on needing immediate change. THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN. Not right now. Both of you are in the process of God bringing you to the end of your self-life. It's painful but necessary. Today is Sunday and the two of you should have completed the "Rejection" audio. Stay faithful in the timing of these assignments. If you do the assignments because you are "told" to, you will learn nothing. Do them as spiritual medicine, you WILL grow in the direction plotted out for you. Do you understand? HERE
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7/9/2024: I thank both of you for completing some of the homework assignments. Well done. Remember to scan the list for the remainder of the assignments before we meet. Keep a weekly schedule on the other items. Remember no "cram-studies." Please pace yourselves.
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Matt, your testimony regarding procrastination was appreciate. However, your replies typically have an excuse attached to each - too busy, laziness, fatigue, and other related adjectives. Procrastination is simply an action of delaying or postponing something - particularly when mandated to complete. Matt, procrastinators put off tasks that should be done, especially those requiring immediate attention. Without question, I see this in your communications. This delay can be intentional, habitual, or a covert confession of resistance against authority. Procrastinators are angry people. It is a form of self-punishment due to the subconscious pressing in on their internal rebellion. Once it is habitual, these people push tasks into the future due to a lack of willingness to be told what to do - even by themselves. We counselors call it "blameworthy delay," especially through laziness or apathy. It’s important to note that consistent procrastination can lead to negative consequences, such as missed deadlines or increased stress that plagues them the better part of each day, thus, exhaustion sets in.
Both of you have signs of being procrastinators. It might be why the two of you make use of "blameworthy delay." You are both angry people. The anger is likely associated with self-anger for being irresponsible for proper priorities, schedule keeping, and diligence in accomplishing the proper tasks, without filling your time with meaningless activities that ultimately force you to be angry at yourselves.
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7/4/2024: Special note. Additional assignments have been added. Here is how it works. Assignment - 48-hour deadline > assignment received > I review content > we dialogue up to the next scheduled session > possible new small assignments added > next session is activated. When this is not followed, the person(s) does not allow me enough time to do my part. The enemy will provide all types of reasons why assignments can't be done. Please remember, I can't be the only one trying to save your marriage.
7/3/2024: No homework (posted on 6/27/24) confirmation has been received as of today. I will need to make a decision of cancelation on the early evening of 7/4/24 at 6 pm (CST). All assignments must be turned in one day before each session to provide appropriate time to study your assignments before sessions.
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6/27/24: Please remain encouraged. I want to take a moment to acknowledge the courage and commitment you both have shown in starting the counseling process. Starting this journey is often the hardest part, and it’s natural to encounter challenges and discomfort along the way.
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Remember, growth often comes from discomfort and every step you take, no matter how small, is progress. It’s important to be patient with yourselves, each other, and the process. This process is not about perfection, but about growth and learning.
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I am here to support you through this journey, and I believe in your ability to overcome these initial hurdles. Your willingness to engage in this process, even when it’s tough, is a testament to your strength and dedication to your spiritual growth.
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Let’s continue to lean on the GRACE and strength of Christ as we navigate this path together. His love and wisdom will guide us through.
Dr. Stephen Phinney's scheduled Zoom with Matthew & Michelle Adams discipleship meetings.
Restarting September 6, 2024 - each Friday at 1 pm (CST). Log in 15 minutes early to avoid last minute "bugs." Each attendee must sign in on separate devices, in separate rooms, to provide privacy in communications. Set up the Zoom call without any bright light behind the attendee, as in the case of a window. Use a podcast light or lamp to brighten your face. Make sure this light is behind the camera. Make sure your video and audio links are open (the bottom left corner of the Zoom window).
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Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/82800872787
Meeting ID: 828 0087 2787
​While it is not required, occasionally consider donating to your discipleship process HERE.
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